Doing the deal

WRITTEN BY MICHAEL 

The word on the streets was that cannabis oil was shit hot at arresting some of the symptoms/side effects of PM’s situation – the usual culprits such as pain, insomnia and loss of appetite. In my quest to acquire some not-so-mainstream medicinals, I ended up in nearby Mullum (Mullumbimby), a coherent man’s Nimbin. As instructed, I journeyed into a computer repair joint and asked for the ‘oil’ guy, as ya do, the whole time feeling like Jason Bourne trying to slip the attention of a bunch of ASIO goons.

Oil man, a weedy looking dude, appeared with a satchel strung over his shoulder, rather like a dodgy bookmaker, making me wonder if he was armed or just hemped. And so weedy leads me through the hallways of this hovel to what is seemingly the ‘interrogation’ room, a rathole housing little more than a table and two opposing chairs. I wasn’t surprised by the clandestine nature of this whole deal, given it was hardly AMA, FDA, TGA and George Brandis approved – and of course we wouldn’t want to upset the conservatives in the quest for something that actually fucking works!

Many questions, lots of directions and 250 bucks later, I’m Hiluxing my way back to Byron with PM’s new life neatly packaged in a 50ml bottle and 6 ml syringe.