My first date with the date-ologist

Our meeting with Patrick Dwyer  was more of a meeting with everybody but Patrick Dwyer. First up, we met with PD’s registrar, Rodriguez Diaz who asked lots of questions at rapid speed in a heavy Spanish accent. Whoa, slow down buddy and speak up if you can, I’m not getting it all. Fortunately M’s ear for accents was working today and was able to interpret where needed. Talk about feeling like an unworldly, ignorant Aussie.

Rodriguez determined what we did, and didn’t know and talked us through what’s about to happen. He asked if we had a chemo oncologist yet? What? I thought Patrick Dwyer was the oncologist. ‘No, he’s the radiation oncologist; you also need a chemo oncologist.’ Where do we get one of them? ‘We can refer you to one.’ Oh, phew… I thought for a sec we were gonna have to check out Gumtree.

Once Rod baby was satisfied he had done his bit of the induction, he called in the nurse to give me an examination of all orifices below  – not something I was looking forward to, especially since my rectal region had been in spasm most of the early hours of the morning and a good pooh was on its way!

Rodriguez, happy with the results of the inspections, (no squatters in my fanny, which was a possibility) exited to consult with the infamous Patrick Dwyer. We were left in the consult room to exchange thoughts on the freakiness of the situation and the conservative nature of Rodriguez’s bedside manner. He was very professional but not exactly oozing character. Perhaps that’s the norm for registrars? I’ve never met one so how would I know.

Sitting with our backs to the door, Rod and Patrick enter the room. OMG Patrick Dwyer was not what I was imagining. Thank goodness he didn’t do the exam, ooh-la-la! And he had a lovely approach – very relaxed and casually professional. There was absolutely no hurrying, ensuring we were satisfied with the info provided. He reiterated much of Rodriguez’s spiel, adding that all the specialists will meet on Thursday to discuss the colorectal patients and assess their status, and in my case the best approach to radiation. It will take another 2.5 weeks to confer with the necessary professionals and resolve the approach, so treatment is on hold till then. Meantime, I’ll wait to hear from the Chemo Oncologist, which should be this week with an appointment next week. They also want me to have another CT scan, this time of the lungs, to ensure no squatters are lurking there. CT scan is booked for next Tuesday 24th.

And that’s it… I think you’re up to date…whilst I’m left to deal with what’s up my date.



6 thoughts on “My first date with the date-ologist

  1. Phew what a day. Date night must be a barrel of laughs in your house! Fantastic prose you guys are fabulous writers, can’t wait for the next installment of Tommy and the Squatter. Love and hugs Vic and Phil

  2. OMG. I can’t quite believe what you’e doing here Simultaneously hilarious AND practical. What a good way to screen calls and annoying texts and busy bodies! But it’s also really a good way to document things and take notes. And then there’s the benefit of being able to take time to digest everything though the writing process. Jesus!! I bet you didn’t bank on having essay-like comments to have to read though! Suffer in your undies!! (DId you like what I did there?) Glad you didn’t have ‘that’ exam with the heart throb. Oh! Sorry I’m mixing my organs. Cat wait for the ne t instalment. Sandy xxx

  3. Thanks for the update! Gotta love the medical maze and the games they play. Hope your next ‘date’ is smooth sailing.

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