Camels and chauffeurs

The water works issue continues although is showing some improvement. All the water drinking I have done over the years is proving to be the bain of this current life. I am a camel and can hang on and on before I need to empty and until now have thought this a positive attribute. Not the kind one would put on a dating site but a kind of handy one, like, I’ve never had to mentally map out a shopping spree around the location of loos. This means my bladder can hold a lot yet unfortunately my bowel cannot. However we’re talking about the bladder today and it turns out I need to drink at least 1.5 litres in 5-10 mins… 45 minutes prior to the appointed time of treatment. Geezuz… I have deadlines with work but seriously? And… this is on top of the 1200ml I drink through the night, and the following 1200ml I consume post breakfast and pre appointment. Forty five mins prior to the appointment I’m to empty my bladder and then consume another 1500ml in the stipulated 5-10 mins! Cripes, I might be a camel but I’m part human too!

The upside is that despite a bit more drinking and a bit more waiting for the dripping to hit my bladder, today’s appointment was the shortest yet at an hour and a quarter. This is good news not just for princess me but also for the generous buddies who have offered their chauffeuring services but have not yet been called up. 

Today’s chauffeur was in the form of Vic and I’m sorry to say to future chauffeurs, she has set a high bench mark. I mentioned in a previous post how Vic likes detail but OMG, I think she goes beyond detail. Her inner girl guide relished the opportunity to shine with the following list of items packed neatly on the back seat (Judy Worthington, you would be suitably impressed): a brand new bucket for emergency poohing purposes, a toilet roll (of course), tissues, wet wipes, an array of plastic containers – with lids – in the event I needed to heave and cap the subsequent stench, a face washer and mouth wash for the post vomit freshen up, an esky with chiller blocks keeping bottles of water, blueberries and mango nicely chilled along with nuts and dried fruit. Oh and a zip lock bag for anything unsavoury that might need to be stored along the way. I’ve no doubt overlooked something but I’m happy to report Vic’s girl guide motto of ‘it’s better to be prepared’ worked a treat as the only items put to use were the nicely diced mango and paper towel. 


11 thoughts on “Camels and chauffeurs

  1. Wow, Camel Woman Prue……that all sounds rather impressive…. A ‘GOOD’ day by the sounds of things…..GREAT. In terms of Lismore Base…. a ‘get in and get out’ approach I’m sure works best for all concerned.

    Hey, imagine if the guys at Uber got to hear about the standard of treats offered by chauffeur Vic. She could be behind the wheel of great change in their business model….. 🙂 HAPPY FRIDAY CAMEL WOMAN…..xx

  2. Maybe Vic could give a little presentation to a gathering of potential chauffers on how to do it really right?! That’s some act to follow!

    Maybe a big container with all the stash that gets transferred to whichever vehicle is the transport of the day? 🙂

    Sounds like you’ll have the turnaround down to no time flat in no time flat!


  3. Vic, you are the queen of organisation, I thought I had the lists happening, but I am super impressed. Got to love those zip lock bags. All that is left is for Prue to sit back and enjoy + the occasional princess wave to passers by. x

  4. Yes its quite a hoot in the car with Princess 1 trying to out do Princess 2 on the impressive stakes, but I have to concede Princess 1 has quite overshadowed my valiant attempts to shine in the Tupperware and face flannel department with her blasted blasto date hole story. Still I haven’t given up yet Princess 2 is still in the running for ‘outstanding personality of the year’ after all its only Feb!

  5. PS Judy I concede the zip lock bag as your idea, and a great one at that. Still waiting to put them to use but Pru isn’t playing ball, someone will have to get her laughing with uncontrolled glee and then prehaps we can wave our zip lock bags in triumph.

    1. Thank you Donaldo, how are you placed the week after next for a driving date? I’ll stock up on gastro-stop to ensure no leakages in your limo

      1. hey Prue sorry delay in response but seems not getting alerts for new posts so will input that i am flagged by WordPress again.
        So regarding next week lift club Wed 15th and Thurs 16th best for me – can do both but need to lock them in
        yes, stock up on that cement as I value my vehicle car seats. I will not prepare a snack basket for the journey featuring prunes and apricots.
        When we do this you can lead me through how not to miss posts on WordPress.

  6. Super impressed from Melbourne here. Whatever it takes to keep the upholstery and the princess pristine. I’d like to enrol for the chauffeur presentation. Oh and the smoothie-making presentation, and the preparing-snacks presentation, and the how-to-keep-the-fridge-in-order presentation. I’m working on the uncontrolled glee. Starting to feel sorry for the zip lock bags hanging around with nothing to do.

  7. You will all be pleased to know the zip lock bags are required right now.! You’re collective comments have made me laugh with ‘uncontrollable glee’ – just what I needed after a really shitty day which I’ll share in the next post. Thank you dear funny friends, I love youse all 😘

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