I’m sure you will all be pleased to know the surgeon did make an appearance at my recent ‘open for inspection’. Thankfully his anaesthetist turned up too so I didn’t have to experience the humiliation of my arse being inspected by a crowd. And there was in fact a crowd – a very nice caring crowd I might add but a crowd none the less. Cripes, for someone who feared any kind of GP appointment, let alone any orifices being inspected, I’ve sure had to get over that in a hurry. My private parts are no longer private so please feel free to let me know if you’d like to take a peek sometime, you’ve all been so supportive it’s the least I can do 😜.
So onto the bag business…
It’s good to know I’m not the only pooh-bag-lady-to-be on the planet. Thanks to Trace and cousin Peta for the links (bagladymama.com/index.html sobadass.me) to other loud and proud pooh bag peeps, (thanks gals, I’ve subscribed to both blogs) and to Sandy for the Etsy heads up and to Judoir for fabric samples for potential pooh bag covers. Sandra also kindly offered to add pooh bag covers to her CV – she currently creates patterns for cycling wear so I’m sure I can trust her with the active-wear pooh bag range. And Vicstar… what can I say? You truly crack me up.
Samples of what I’m in for
Gosh, what good hands I’m in for an assortment of fashionable pooh bag covers? Brilliant. Good to know that box is ticked. Now I just need to confirm the installation date of April 27. Gulp. That’s a week away, farrrk.
Pre-emptively I received a call today from yet another recruit to the squatter eviction task force team, enter Bill Tyrell, stoma nurse. I bet none of you have one of them. Yes, another personal medical practitioner on my team batting for me. It’s Bill’s job to mark X is the spot for the makeover component of the eviction, the beautification bit if you like. Once the surgeon has removed the squatter, creating an additional gaping hole where there isn’t meant to be one, it’s Bills job to patch up and add the finishing touches. He’ll attach the much talked about bag and teach me how to use it, holding my hand in hospital and beyond. Phew. This is obviously all so foreign I’m already grateful for Bill and haven’t even met him yet.
Well that’s not exactly true. During the radiation therapy treatment, M and I passed this man who looked vaguely familiar. He was super friendly and nodded a hello as we passed. For the five weeks of treatment we wracked our brains as to where we may have seen/met this chap and tried desperately to recall his name. The mystery was solved after asking one of the radiation nurses – as it turns out, Bill is the stoma nurse for the Northern Rivers and he had marked an X on M’darlink before his surgery ten years ago! During my phone chat with Bill we discussed having met ten years ago and he thinks he remembers us, amazing or what? So, we will meet again next Thursday at 6.30 am when I’m told to wear what I normally wear so he can determine the most convenient and comfortable position to place my new buddy, the pooh bag. F’king hell, tis getting very real now.
Julie G asked how my head is, with my reply being – it’s messy but good. I don’t like the idea of going to hospital for two long weeks but I’m not liking the idea of the alternatives either. The pooh bag thang is not fazing me too much although who knows what will play out once the bag and I have bonded. If we don’t get along, it’ll be a complete disaster. Of course my biggest concern at the moment is WHAT WILL I WEAR during my hospital stay?! Given how little I usually wear to bed, bed wear has not been a high priority. Farrrk. Once I’ve got my head around that, my next concern will be WHAT WILL MY BAG WEAR but I think Melb buddy Judoir has that covered. Phew, one less thing to think about. Thankfully, I don’t have to think about foot wear, nor accessories, as a certain pooh bag will have it’s debut as my hero accessory piece which I sincerely hope doesn’t get stage fright!