Seventeen out of 18 is apparently very good

Well travelling to Lismore is never fun but at the crack of dawn to have stitches removed from one’s crack and be delivered the news of pathology results? Well fuck me universe, you’re really going to town with the challenges now. So un-fun.

We rock up at the agreed time of 7am to be told Dr Terrance Chu, Austin’s registrar will be in a meeting till 7.45. Fab. I conceal my anger behind closed lids and settle horizontally on the waiting room bank seating using m’darlink as a pillow. Thankfully I snooze and am awoken by Terrance’s deep Asian accented voice. He’s accompanied by his sublings, Victoria and Julia whom I have both met during the hospital rounds and both make up for Terrance’s direct gruff approach. We’re whisked into a spare consulting room and get down to tin tacs pronto. There’s no offering of ‘take a seat’, he simply places a blank A4 sheet on a tall stainless trolly table and begins drawing a representation of my back passage with a black biro. Despite this less than charming bedside manner, he’s incredibly focussed and thorough and explains every detail in lay terms of the pathology results. All is incredibly good until…

Put it this way… imagine cleaning up after a squatter; you’ve booted them out complete with belongings and left with a dirty grotty shell. You get the cleaning team in and they dispose of 17 bags of rubbish and remove all other remnants of debris. But in a dark corner they find a skanky dried up old tea bag, it’s starting to grow mould and has the potential to spread bacteria, so they get the bleach and douse the bag and it’s surrounds. Job done. Squatter eviction complete and the site cleaned ready for a paying tennant. Well that’s apparently me, swap the bleach for chemo and we’re home and hosed.

Whilst this is not unexpected, I’m really disappointed and cannot rise above it today. It’s probably simply another day of the sads and my family will say it’s simply another step that on any other day, I’d deal with, but today it’s a challenge… I just. don’t. want. to be. a cancer. patient. I can cope with being a surgical patient but a cancer one really irks me. M says I’m jumping ahead of myself cos we haven’t even had confirmation that chemo is absolutely necessary but according to the team meeting that Terrance was caught up in, the general consensus was push on with this next phase of chemo.

So… the steps from here are; make an appointment with my school girl crush Austin Curtin (he’s on leave for 2 weeks, hence Terrance stepping in this morning) the week after next and note to self: try not to flutter eye lids too much. Follow that with seeing both radiation and chemo oncologists Dr Ooh La La and James brash Bull, respectively. All three men have their charm and my respect, so at least that’s something to look forward to.

Meantime, I’ll meet with Bill Tyrell – Stoma therapist – at home next Monday when he’ll show me all the latest and greatest stoma accessories and I’ll introduce him to Penelope and Stanley.


12 thoughts on “Seventeen out of 18 is apparently very good

  1. What a roller coaster eh! But you can’t be goin’ round with a teabag up your bum. It’s gotta go! Lotsa love from us to you both. And ready to make you an actual cuppa with proper leaves as soon as you want. xx

  2. Not the news you or anyone wants to hear Prue, especially after what sounds like a good week back at home with Penelope and Stanley. It’s ok to be disappointed, angry, frustrated, sad and overwhelmed. I am sure tears will help a little but don’t be disillusioned, you are a survivor! It is so good that you have a team of Specialists who have your best interests at heart ❤️. Not to mention all your family and friends. Thinking of you lots Pxxx 💕💕

  3. Sending love as the highs and low hit. It really is such a tricky one to navigate and you’re doing it with such power. Onward. xxxx

  4. Did someone say tea……not that I’m a tea bag snob but defiantly a good idea to get rid of any sign of baggage. Hard to remember but once this is all behind you (excuse the pun) you’ll be able to get on with life uninterrupted Yaaaaaa Big love and hugs the two garden gnomes xxxxxxxxx

  5. This is why we now just drink coffee….tea bags suck….esp old skanky ones👎 You paint great analogies Prue – except the endings need a bit of work. Are you sure your experts aren’t reading your blog and coming up with new episodes just to prolong the series…? Maybe your being too nice to them? Hopefully Mike is right and you are jumping ahead of yourself – which is perfectly understandable after what you’ve been through. Fingers crossed further treatment won’t be necessary. Hang in there. We hate to think of you as being sad as that’s definitely not our Uncle Prue. Thinking of you💕

  6. Sending the moon and stars to you dear PM. Loving Sandy’s idea of a tea party with no crummy teabags allowed. ❤️

  7. When the team want the squatter OUT and GONE… they wanna make sure he is OUT and GONE for good!!!!! Like yourself, in terms of getting things done properly …. a thorough job sure beats the opposite. Hope you managed a good nights rest Prue…..Get rid of all skanky tea bags and potential mould…Sending love and strength your way. Here’s to your morning COFFEE… 🙂 xxx

  8. This is an unexpected speed bump on your road to recovery, You. CAN. Do. This. Really, you’ve got Penelope and Stanley as extra carry ons so there’s definitely no room at the inn to host a skanky mouldy tea bag. You’ve got this Prue (and Michael)….sending a cup of coffee and a brioche from over many rooftops xXXX

  9. Well you’ve gotta crack the sads at some point, Jesus, go for it ! Such a long bloody road messing with you. Can I seek an important clarification ? and apologies if I am not paying attention … are Austin and Ooh la la the same person ? or …. are there actually two hotties in this relationship ? (three, including Michael of course).

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