LAPPING THE WARD

WRITTEN BY MICK

When I awoke yesterday to discover an ants’ nest in our printer I thought this is gonna be a shit day, however, the Universe kindly corralled the day’s shit to the printer. On arrival at the hospital the patient told me she had been up and about and that my attire looked ‘very smart’. I thought she was delirious. But no, both were true. The girlie is kicking goals in her recovery position, a huge improvement on Thursday’s zombie impersonation. When the orders rolled out to unpack her bags, close the curtain, put flowers in the vase, charge her phone, move this and that etc etc, it confirmed the love of my life was back to her old self. How lucky was I?

The back pain that had given her so much grief the day before had lessened (we later learnt they had propped up her tummy to lower her bum by using sandbags!). It reminded me of my sore ankles after surgery. I think I’d been stirruped and hung from the ceiling.

Her pain relief (oxycodone) is self administered by pushing a button when it lights up. It seems this system relies on the patient nodding off so as not to receive the maximum dose. To relieve visitor boredom I suggested to the staff that I could hit the button when Prue nodded off but they felt this was unhelpful in that it could kill her. Apparently too much of the good stuff can stop you breathing.  So now, when she dozes off,  I jot down notes for these blog posts which I inevitably lose amongst the bloody bits and bytes when I attempt to post.

The bottom line is, the patient is going great – no infected wounds, pain under control, back to giving lip to everyone and starting on solid food (a generous description of what they feed you). She did however get told off by the surgeon for not using her blower, the little doovalacky that helps prevent you getting pneumonia. She’s not really doing the visitor thing yet as it can be quite draining. So, all up, a great day… even the ants pissed off from the printer.

 

 

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21 thoughts on “LAPPING THE WARD

  1. Thanks Michael. Good to hear Prue is back to pushing buttons – and not just yours! Good news is Lismore is sunny and 24 degrees – not a flood forecast in sight! Love to you both. From the other P&M X

  2. Great post mickle. Very entertaining and it’s so good to hear Mitchell is ordering everyone about again. Who would have thought we’d think that was a good thing.? Yay! Give her our love. And keep some for yourself. You’re fab at this posting thing, not to mention being primary carer for princesses. Xxx

    1. Hi San, its me, Mick here, not the bloody patient as this computer keeps insisting. She’s been in this hospital long enough cos she’s starting to issue orders to the surgeons. She better be sure those dudes don’t have to go duck diving through her guts again with scalpels in hand

  3. Well guys we’re not surprised that she’s off and running, charging down the home straight towards good food, pussy cat cuddles and of course Mickle Pickles loving arms. Go girl only a couple of laps before you’re on the home straight.

  4. Thanks for the update old neighbour! When Pwoo starts getting bossy you know she is approaching normal. Hurrah! Look forward to visiting and bringing in contraband food and drinks when she’s up to it. xxx

    1. Hi Old neighbour. The anaesthetic has stuffed her taste buds. She can now only taste Moet. Lucky you sold your Coogera St mansion for a motza

  5. Yippee! So good to hear. Love all the details…keep them coming. So great to be able to imagine your version of events rather than my own. Tell P I think she’s amazing. And you are, too Xxxx

    1. Hi Mandy, most of the detail is fabricated. She’s yet to wake up from the anaesthetic! Hey, I’ve gotta do something to kill the visitor boredom

  6. Ants nest in the printer. That is not good Mister Malloy. But great news to hear Prue is doing well post Op. On the home stretch now. Tezza xox

    1. Ants mate… thousands of the fuckers in egg city. So often shit like that happens when you least need it. It’s as though the right hand of life ignores what its left hand is dishing out. Couldve been worse i spose… the bloody house couldve been on fire

  7. Glad to hear the ants left the printer……and that Prue is on her upward and onward journey❤️❤️ Good luck with keeping her tied down in the hospital Mike……you might need to push that button to do it.

  8. So good to hear Michael! Bet you were relieved the minute you received the post op directorial debut…lets be honest, you know you’d miss it. Much waving and love to you both xXXX

  9. Great News to hear that Prue to returning to her true self with obviously a bit of a difference. Right now she is clearly in the right place in terms of the drugs and over supply of Sandbags. We know that Lismore has no shortage of either….. mentioned with all due respect let me add. Pity the meals aren’t up to scratch…. Hopefully that will only be short term…. feed the cats with ya Mick….. 50kg is sounded underweight for your tigers…. 🙂 xx Love and hugs guys xx

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