What a frigging end to week four. It started out unbelievably well, I was in good form, really good form and then mid morning the day turned to shit. Literally. The weird thing is that for every skerrick of shittiness, a matching moment of goodness presented itself.
The shittiness began with not actually being able to shit at all. My back passage kept saying ‘get to the loo and get there now’ yet when I obliged it produced sweet FA. It was like the squatter was paying out on me for the long slow rigorous eviction process its enduring and was having one last shot at causing me grief. The false alarms continued until chauffeur Chez arrived when I decided to brace myself and attempt the trip to lovely Lismore. Chez was great as usual at lifting my spirits but the need to clench for the next 45 mins was all consuming to say the least. Whilst clenching I downed 1.5 litres of water in the required 15 mins and hoped like hell I could keep all orifices firmly shut for the remainder of the trip.
Upon arrival we lunged for the private lounge room before I was whisked off for my first scan. Fail. Fifteen mins later things were looking good if only my bowel would hold out.
On the nuking table I continued to clench fearing on this occasion that the possibility of a dam wall breaking open was very real. Thankfully, wind was all that broke but poor radiation tech, Laura… she was the bunny who copped the wall of stench as she released me from the nuking set up. Ouch! I couldn’t get out of there quick enough and shuffled directly to the loo. Ahhhhh. Satisfaction at last!
In the car, Ms Chez produced a moment of magic by surprising me with a pack of incredibly delicious morsels, (including the tecent fave Saos 😊) of freshly made California rolls and truly scrumptious dips. The latter made by the woman who use to run Yumi’s in Brunswick Heads – a green olive one and a beetroot one. I’m not so much into beetroot dip but this a real goodie, very light on the tahini and big on beetroot without being too earthy, holding its colour to perfection. Lucky for you lot I don’t get into describing the results of my bowel movements to the same degree!
The weekend followed Fridays example oscillating between good form and lousy form, ending with Sunday afternoon and Monday morning being atrocious. Nuke induced Diarrhoea and pain like I have never experienced.
Desperate for help, I called the cancer unit pre appointment and was advised by gorgeous nurse Stevie, to not concern myself about the usual pre nuking watering up and to get there asap and as comfortably as I can so I could be assessed. The outcome was I wasn’t taking enough pain killers, I was taking 10% of what I needed!!! OMG. All that unnecessary suffering at the weekend – arrrgh.
I have consequently bonded nicely with Endone every two to four hours and Targin twice daily, neither of which I’ve ever heard of but man the relief. The world is a happy shiny place again. I might not snap at you when you drop by again ma.
PS Happy birthday Mandy. It will go down as one of the more memorable ones for this squatter host. Hope it is for you too but in a completely different way to mine!