40% Done

Two weeks down three to go. I cannot believe how quickly the time flies, it’s not like I’m having fun. Well, that’s not entirely true because there has been no end of laughs thanks to all my chauffeurs. OMG, I have laughed. I think I might be giving the other patients in the waiting rooms the shits with the constant chuckling and stifled giggles emanating from the string of buddies that have kindly chauffeured so far.

Lucy and Sandy were on duty this week, with Lucy value adding by also being meals on wheels. She arrived with a twice cooked chicken soup made from an authentic Jewish mama recipe and as they say, was truly food for the soul. Thank you Loothey x

And Sandy? Well she left her bloke and two teenage boys in Melbourne to come and play ‘home help’ for three days giving my 81 yr old mother Jude, a much needed break. And boy did she help. She changed batons effortlessly with Jude and cooked, cleaned, chauffeured, stayed up late indulging M in the intense conversations he likes best and get this, she even spent a couple of hours formatting an annual report I’ve been working on!! Talk about our kind of home help! However apologies to anyone stuck behind us on the Lismore road. Poor Sand driving a manual car for the first time in decades on an unfamiliar road with me in the passenger seat constantly alerting her that she can up the speed from 75 to 100kms in this section. Oh and this section too, oh and mind the speed camera on the other side of clunes, it’s dynamite. I think we both heaved a sigh of relief when the idea came that she work on the annual report and let Vic be fill-in chauffeur.

Meantime the water torture has lessened, so much so I got a gold star from the radiation technicians on Wednesday. However it hasn’t been all plain sailing. With my new found collective tools for bowel relief, hydration, and low fibre diet, curtesy of gastro stop, electrolytes and white crap respectively, I was a tad over zealous. The white crap diet meant I could indulge in bread and cheese both of which have been off limits for a number of months and in the past have been constipators for this princess. So on top of the gastro stop I had a bit of a hard time – literally – on Thursday when my daily nuking was threatened by a full bowel that didn’t want to budge. Farrrk. More fucking management to consider. Fortunately (???) My squatter is quite low in the rectum so a full bowel thankfully didn’t cause any nuking issues. My bloated stomach on the other hand was struggling big time. It’s quite challenging to lie still for 10 mins on a hard mechanical bed with a ballooned, near-bursting bladder and a full bowel – I don’t recommend trying it at home.

Hopefully next week I will truly have everything down pat and have no need to post a thing. Except that I’ll be hitting the half way mark, woo hoo!


10 thoughts on “40% Done

  1. Thanks so much Mitchell and Malloy, for letting me impose my version of home help at Suffolk Park. Firstly, I loved being able to borrow your Mum who picked me up from the airport, and on her birthday too. Jude’s more ‘with it’ and groovy at 81 than I’ve ever been, so it’s bloody lucky I chose to leave the twinset and pearls in the wardrobe. Despite Prue and Michael’s best efforts over the last 10 or so years, I think Jude stopped ageing sometime last century. Wish I could say the same. I’ve aged ten years in the last 3 days! Try cooking for Prue and Michael! You’ve probably all eaten at their table so you know it’s a bit like cooking for Jamie Oliver. Not to mention the do and don’ts as directed by bowel, doctor and dietitian. In order to keep a few meals in the freezer for those days when Michael and Jude needed a well-deserved rest, I decided to run the gauntlet and channel my inner Adam Liaw and extraordinary cook-friend Judy Worthington, to pull it together.

    And then there’s the chauffeuring. Jaysus! I was more surprised than Prue that I could navigate the Virgo-effected pantry and kitchen better than the Golf. We’d worked out pretty quickly that I wasn’t flash at multitasking. All hail those chauffeurs who can negotiate 80-100km on windy, pot-holed NSW roads (our taxes at work, not), changing that ruddy clutch (well, sometimes), be funny and entertaining (rarely), AND also be deep and meaningful. Basically we had to stop talking so I could stay on the speed limit and remember to use the clutch. And then after all that Mitchell was so quick at being nuked, that I didn’t get the chance to have a 5th oatmeal biscuit nor a second cuppa from the waiting room kitchenette. She didn’t want me the next day, clearly, so it was lucky I could fill my time in faffing about on the annual report!
    On closing I think a cat pic surely overdue. Prue is in good hands!

  2. Sounds like a productive visit by Sandy. Well done, except for the Virgo remarks. Hope she didn’t alter the Zen of the pantry. xx

  3. Go Prue! You’ll blitz week 3 I know it!!, you with your amazing support crew!
    And if it’s any consolation Sandy, I drove from Brisbane Airport to Byron in 1st gear! … I didn’t recognize the meaning of high revs on the dial (durrrr), that with an awful noise and this pushing feeling, I just couldn’t go very fast!… just thought I got a dud hire car! … true story!!! I sympathize with you! 🙂

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